"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
