it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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