I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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