Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
