when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
