She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
