Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
