hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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