I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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