so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
