I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
