??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
where am i from again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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