If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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