Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize