Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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