Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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(403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6

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(407): View more from Florida

We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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(407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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(401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4

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(469): View more from Texas

The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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(469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a

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(347): View more from New York

He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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(347): He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/v3jd

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(605): View more from South Dakota

im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am

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(605): im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am http://tfl.nu/dc3c

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(206): View more from Washington

We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.

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(206): We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts. http://tfl.nu/k2p7

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(937): View more from Ohio

She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.

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(937): She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life. http://tfl.nu/md1r

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(815): View more from Illinois

i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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(815): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/m7hl

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.

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(918): I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains. http://tfl.nu/wys7

Replies (7) Good night (2413) Bad night (687)
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(310): View more from California

I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one

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(310): I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one http://tfl.nu/kvjq

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(704): View more from North Carolina

There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.

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(704): There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die. http://tfl.nu/gg2b

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(254): View more from Texas

We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

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(254): We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight. http://tfl.nu/fhx0

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(905): View more from Ontario

sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.

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(905): sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night. http://tfl.nu/nv7h

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.

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(850): I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here. http://tfl.nu/dms5

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