Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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