its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
