Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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