DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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