i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
