i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
