Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize