those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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