i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
