apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize