it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
