Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
