i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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