Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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