You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Im part way to drunk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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