she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
