I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
handjob tips. give me some.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
