Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
