Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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