yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
