i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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