i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
