my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
