All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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