Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
