Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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