White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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