He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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