i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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