Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
