Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises