I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
