Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
