im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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