My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
