I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
