This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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