I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize