OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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