New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize