she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
