You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
