I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
