It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
