Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
